Flimsy Parody
by Funky Bracelet Chick
Summary: Mello has a big gun. Need I say more?


**Hello, all. This is Funky Bracelet Chick speaking, but you probably already know that. **

**This is something I couldn't help but write when I read a certain scene in **_This Iz Pointless_**'s fanfic Flimsy. (****It's a really good fic. Go read it if you haven't already!)**

**Does anyone else find it funny that I'm writing fanfiction for a fanfiction? I do. Whenever I think about it I can't help but giggle.**

**So, literally, nothing in this thing belongs to me. Not even the Oc's. Just that sad thing I'm calling a plot. If it can even be called that. ^^;**

**Virtual Mello Plushies to all who review!**

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_"If you had stayed in the shower house we could have had an interesting time, now, couldn't we've?" His lined eyes stared with amusement down at me._

_"St-stay away from me," I whispered hoarsely, bringing my hands down, and therefore letting my hair spill over my shoulders in a cascading Russian-ly curly mess. I loved that shampoo and conditioner._

_Zalen leaned over me, his hands going on the back of my seat and on the desk in front of me. I moved as far away from him as I could without falling off the seat._

_He snuck his mouth close to my ear and whispered in a snakelike form of speech, "No. I think I'll get as close as I want."_

_He smelled so fucking good it was absolutely unfair. I prepared myself to kick him in the shin. Hard. I was a soccer player; let us not forget. I could slam my foot into something when I wanted to. And right now I reeeeeeeaaaaallllly wanted to._

_My resolve disappeared—along with any thoughts that had been in my head. This Zalen guy, with the emo hair, clothes, and makeup, the sketchiest personality ever, and evil-spewing black eyes, called "Zay" by my sister, was nibbling my ear. His teeth and lips scaled up the length of my ear, a hint of tongue coming a couple times._

_And, without my permission, my eyes closed and a pleasured shiver ran down my spine._

It was at that exact moment that Mello burst through the door. Instead of the blank stare I expected him to be sporting, his face was twisted into a snarl of rage.

I was so focused on the fact that he wasn't being emotionless that it took me a moment to realize that he had a _huge ass gun_ pointed in our direction. More specifically, at Zalen's head.

Speaking of Zalen, I looked up at his face. He had on one of the biggest shit eating grins I've ever seen. It made his eyes crinkle up. The fact that I could tell that through all his make-up _meant_ something.

My head swiveled between his and Mel's face. Mello was still glaring and snarling like a really angry cat. One that just got woken up and kicked from it's patch of sun.

After a few moments of this sort-of glaring match, Zalen's grin started to fade. He looked down right taken aback. Honestly, I'm amazed he lasted even that long. Angry cats are scary.

Without taking his eyes off Zalen, Mel spoke, "Elle, come here." There was no room for arguments in his voice. It wasn't a suggestion. Not that I minded getting away from Zay. The freak was a creep.

There was only one teensy weensy little itty bitty problem. Getting in the middle of their glares presented an issue of sorts. There was so much tension in the air I was worried that I might get zapped...or something...if I got in the way.

My predicament was solved by the same person who started this whole thing.

"Now, please," came Mello's voice from across the room again. I didn't hesitate this time. I sprung up so fast that my leg caught on the chair. I stumbled, but was otherwise okay as I scurried over to Mel.

I stopped as soon as I was standing beside him, but apparently that wasn't good enough for Mello. He grabbed my wrist without taking his eyes off Zalen and pulled me behind him.

Zalen's eyes flicked to my face for a split second before he said, "Goodness, Miheal, you act like I'm going to hurt her." That grin of his was back in full force. I found myself wanting to kick him...again. Doesn't molesting count as hurting someone? I'm suing for emotional distress! Rape!

"You are."

And Mel can be my lawyer!

Zalen pouted. "I didn't hurt you, Elle, did I?"

I decided to take a page out of Mel's book and just shot him a dirty look at him as I flipped him the bird.

"Aw, you make me sad, you know that?"

My other hand joined the first in giving him the universal message for 'fuck you.'

Suddenly, all the good humored hurt was gone from his face. Zalen looked pissed. Like, prep who broke her nail kind of pissed.

In an instant, he was lunging at me. "You bitch! You should be honored that I would even look your way! You-"

Zalen never got to say anything else.

Remember that gun Mello brought with him? You know, the big one that looked about the right size for Alucard to be toting around? Yeah, that one.

Mello fired one shot that punctured a hole right into Zalen's right lung cavity. I have to say, the man has good aim.

I surprised myself by not feeling any pity. Stupid rapist deserved it...

Mel turned to me, "You are okay?"

I smiled at him, "Yup!"

He flashed me a rare smile, "That is good."

Zalen coughed up blood somewhere in the background, but we both ignored him as we walked away.

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Somewhere, in a universe far, far away, Alucard wondered where his gun had gone...


End file.
